Glee recap: Wonder-ful (yet another theme episode)

Remember after the big Michael Jackson episode in season 3 when Ryan Murphy said they weren’t going to do any more tributes? It’s okay. Neither does he, since this is the third artist-specific tribute episode they’ve done since then. Not to mention the genre tributes to Latin music, disco, and movie music, as well as the Grease episode. Ryan Murphy, you are a liar.

Rachel starts off the episode by calling Will to let him know she has a second callback for Funny Girl. She tells him how she owes him everything because “Don’t Stop Believin'” was her first audition song. Will starts to tear up as he tells Rachel how proud he is of her. Will decides her news is wonderful, so that is the theme for this week. This is literally his thought process at this point. He might as well just open a dictionary, point to a word, and come up with an artist that loosely connects to it. Since wonder is in the word wonderful, this week belongs to Stevie Wonder. He tells the glee club about Rachel’s audition. He also tells them Brittany is at MIT for an early acceptance interview. Bullshit. I know someone who goes to MIT. I am offended on her behalf that the writers are even proposing the idea that Brittany could get in there. Along with that, Will also shares the news that he and Emma are engaged again. Tina raises her hand to offer the news she has been waitlisted for veterinary school. No, she hasn’t. You have to have an undergrad degree before you apply to vet school. You don’t just get a bachelor’s degree in veterinary medicine. The writers aren’t even researching shit at this point. Will lectures everyone about how fantastic Stevie Wonder is.

Kitty chases Artie down the hallway to ask why he is so depressed. Kitty thinks Artie is upset because he has a crush on her, but he assures her that’s not it. He tells her he got accepted to the Brooklyn Film Academy, but he can’t go and he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Kurt is in New York, counting down the days to finding out about Burt’s test results. In voiceover, he tells us about the new rituals he’s adopted in order to ensure good news for his dad. He only wears light blue socks because they’re the color of clear skies. He taps his nose three times at the 14 and 28-minute mark of each hour. Essentially, Kurt has developed obsessive compulsive disorder. I would be far more invested in this development if I thought the writers would pursue it past this episode, but we all know they won’t. Regardless, Kurt is absolutely terrified and Chris Colfer does an amazing job portraying the fact that Kurt is barely holding it together.

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Glee recap: Lights Out (in which McKinley experiences the longest blackout ever)

Previously on Glee: Someone has been pretending to be a girl named Katie and flirting with Ryder online. He figured out that it’s someone in glee club. Sue took the fall after Becky brought a gun to school. Naturally, she was fired. Santana moved to New York and is trying to figure out her life.

There is no sort of disclaimer warning this week, although there should be. There will be frank talk of molestation, so please don’t proceed if that is a trigger for you.

Everyone walks into the choir room. Ryder is texting Katie and trying to figure out why she keeps standing her up. Will comes in to tell them that the Hoosierdaddies have a magical sophomore named Frida Romero (played by American Idol’s Jessica Sanchez) who has an amazing voice. He goes on to tell them that to better than her and her amazing voice, their setlist has to be completely huge. He wants it filled with epic songs that could fill up an arena. Just then, the lights go out in the building. Electricity clearly thinks Will is as stupid as the rest of us do. Figgins comes on the PA system, which is apparently still working, to let them know that this is neither an emergency nor an excuse to party. He also tells them to continue with classes and they will distribute flashlights and candles by grade point average. Will changes his mind and decides they’re going to do acoustic songs instead.

Ryder and Jake are walking through the hallways, discussing Katie. Jake tells Ryder he might be a little too attached to Katie. Ryder tells Jake he’s told Katie things he’s never told anyone else. Jake wants to know what Ryder has been keeping secret from him, but Ryder isn’t ready to tell Jake just yet.

Santana comes in to the loft with a chair she found outside. She wants to fix it up and make it look pretty, but Rachel and Kurt just want to tell Santana she’s throwing away her life. They’re upset she’s working at Coyote Ugly and another place as a cage dancer. They ask her what her dreams are, and she doesn’t really have an answer for them just yet. In the meantime, they tell her she needs to be doing something else with her life. I kind of want to punch Rachel and Kurt in this scene. Not everyone can have their lives totally figured out. I’m totally in the same place as Santana right now, and I would punch any of my friends if they did this to me. She makes the valid point that she has to work somewhere, but that answer isn’t good enough for them. She gets up and walks away.

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Glee recap: Sweet Dreams

Previously on Glee: A gun went off at school. Sue took the blame for it, but it was actually Becky’s gun. Finn kissed Emma and the Wemma wedding got completely derailed. Will got super pissed at Finn, so Finn decided to enroll in college in the middle of the semester to become a teacher. Broadway is apparently reviving Funny Girl, so Rachel flipped out and decided to audition for the role of Fanny Bryce.

Finn is now a student at the University of Lima, where he is studying education. Well, theoretically. Apparently, the U of L is like the number one party school in the world and everyone is majoring in the Harlem Shake. His room is the biggest party spot on campus, thanks to his new roommate Puck. Here’s what’s awkward about this storyline. Cory Monteith and Mark Salling are both so clearly in their thirties. They don’t come off as college freshmen. They’re more the awkward alumni that come back for Homecoming and try to relive their college days, but it just ends up being kind of sad.

Rachel is auditioning for Funny Girl, so she’s in full-on diva mode and pretending to be Barbra Streisand. Ugh. We get some backstory about the history of Funny Girl. Rachel goes over to her Barbra shrine and pays her daily respects while we get a really long voiceover about how important this role is to Rachel’s very existence.

Now that Sue is gone, Coach Roz is back to take over the Cheerios. She comes in and asks if people are still recovering from that “fake school shooting.” Yep, way to diminish something that utterly terrified an entire school. She leaves and Bieste asks if Will has talked to Finn. Will isn’t ready to forgive Finn, so he says they’ve just grown apart. Bieste calls bullshit and tells Will to make the effort to patch things up between them.

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Glee recap: Shooting Star (heavy trigger warnings ahead, and that’s not meant to be a pun)

We start the episode off with a disclaimer from Fox. This episode will deal with gun violence. I’ll admit that I was extremely skeptical when I heard Glee was taking on this topic. All I could picture was them being trapped in the choir room and singing their feelings to each other. If there was any music at all during the shooting sequence, I was going to be really upset. Anyone who has been through a lockdown drill (which you’ve done if you’ve been in school since Columbine) knows the key to safety in such a situation is to be as silent as possible. I also thought there was no way Glee could do nearly as well with this issue as other shows that have taken on the topic. In particular, I thought Degrassi dealt with the issue in a masterful way. While this episode wasn’t near Degrassi’s level, I was very pleasantly surprised. The writers managed to be sensitive to the topic without it feeling too exploitative. The actors also got to show off some amazing dramatic skills.

There are no previouslies this week. There are also no New York scenes. The episode takes place solely at McKinley.

We open with the glee club in the auditorium as Mr. Schue is reading the names of their competitors at Regionals. New Directions will compete against the Hoosierdaddies and the Nuntouchables. Please let the second one be singing nuns. Please. Brittany comes in and announces that a deadly asteroid is headed toward the Lima area. Basically, everything to do with the Brittany plot in this episode is incredibly stupid. As someone in the glee club points out, it’s a repeat of the Christmas plot where she and Sam were worried about the Mayan apocalypse. For the first quarter of the episode, we get to deal with this stupidity. She dubs the asteroid/comet/meteorite Tubbington Bop and says it’s headed straight for McKinley.

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Glee recap: Guilty Pleasures (A theme episode that actually furthers a plot? What?)

Previously on Glee: Santana accused Brody of being a drug dealer, but he was actually a prostitute. She told Finn and he went scary violent on Brody’s face. Rachel is in the dark about everything. Finn kissed Emma, so Will is mad at Finn. However, Finn decided to start college in the middle of the semester to become a teacher. Blaine has a crush on Sam, which they’re apparently going to bring back in this episode.

Blaine goes up to Sam in the hallway and hands him fifty bucks. Sam wonders why Blaine’s giving him all that money. Blaine explains that he saw Sam stealing food from the cafeteria and wants to help. He knows that Sam’s dad is still struggling and he wants to do his part to help. However, Sam isn’t stealing food because his family is starving. He’s stealing large quantities of macaroni because he really enjoys making macaroni art. Sam takes Blaine to see his macaroni portraits. He’s done portraits of Emma Stone, LeAnn Rimes, Ralph Macchio, the Duck Dynasty cast, and for some reason, Kurt. Blaine thanks Sam for sharing his secret. In return, Sam would like to know what Blaine’s guilty pleasure is. As he stares longingly at Sam’s lips, Blaine says that he really loves Wham. Tina pops her head in to let them know what Will is out with the flu, so practice is canceled this week. Sam makes a joke about Tina going to Mr. Schue’s house to straddle him and rub ointment on his chest. Tina is not amused. The rest of us are, though. Blaine and Sam decide to lead practice themselves.

The club comes into rehearsal, where Sam is literally twirling and jumping around with joy. They designate this as “guilty pleasure” week. Ryder asks why they’re bothering these songs if they aren’t going to consider them for regionals, but Blaine says it’s more of a team bonding thing. He goes on (for an uncomfortably long time) about how he and Sam were just chatting “like two bros do” and felt safe enough with each other to reveal their secrets. They want everyone in glee club to do the same thing. Blaine and Sam kick the week off with their rendition of Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” complete with neon 80s clothes. Best of all, though, they let Darren have his naturally curly hair for the routine. It’s so nice when his hair isn’t gelled within an inch of its life.

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Glee recap: Feud (Fighting and mash-ups galore!)

Previously on Glee: Finn kissed Emma and the shit hit the fan. She left Will at the altar. Finn stupidly told Will instead of letting Emma decide if she wanted him to know. That’s all we get for the previouslies and it’s set to super dramatic music. That would have been more effective had the previouslies gone on just a bit longer.

We’re in the choir room where Finn and Will are sitting, being lectured by Tina, Artie, and Blaine. Apparently, the tension has been getting out of control. Will has been sending Finn on stupid errands and then ridiculing him when something isn’t done perfectly. He’s also been giving backhanded compliments to other glee club members, just to hurt Finn. I know that Will is upset, but he’s not even acting like a high schooler. This is straight-up middle school bullshit. Blaine announces this week’s theme: musical feuds. Tina and Artie reiterate that regionals are coming up and their coaches need to stop behaving like children and get back to focusing on their damn jobs. So, Finn and Will have to perform a song together based on a musical rivalry.

Santana and Rachel are at a clinic. Apparently, Rachel’s pregnancy test was a false alarm, so she’s in the clear. Rachel thanks Santana and then tells her she’s heading to class. Santana can’t believe Rachel is acting so nonchalant about everything. She tells Rachel that this is a wake-up call and it’s time to start thinking about her life choices, especially Brody.

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Glee recap: Girls (and Boys) on Film (just another plotless theme episode)

Every now and then, when I think Glee is really start to grow in terms of plot development, Ryan Murphy proves me wrong and throws in a ridiculous theme episode that serves absolutely no purpose. This week’s theme, songs from movies!

Previously: Jake and Marley are together, but Ryder kissed Marley. Will and Emma are together and about to get married, but Finn kissed Emma. She then proceeded to have an epic meltdown and left Will at the altar. Tina had a really creepy crush on Blaine. Lots of people hooked up at Will and Emma’s non-wedding. Rachel thinks she’s pregnant. Santana moved into the Hummelberry + Brody loft. Brody has some sort of side business going on that requires him to frequent hotels and get paid in large amounts of cash.

Since this is dedicated to movie music, we get a lot of ridiculous stand-alone scenes that do nothing to further the plot. In fact, we get one to start off the episode! We start off with Will and Emma performing Fred Astaire’s “You’re All the World to Me” in a black and white scene that is basically a scene straight from the 1951 musical “Royal Wedding,” complete with climbing the walls. Since we know that Emma and Will are on the outs, this is clearly a dream sequence.

However, it provide Schue with inspiration for this week’s theme. That’s right, his ridiculous dream led to this episode being inflicted upon us. Kind of like how Stephenie Meyer’s dreams led to Twilight. You know, I have lots of stupid dreams. I might share them as a quick anecdote in conversation if they were particularly humorous, but I don’t go around forcing mass audiences to share my crazy ass subconscious. Let’s learn from that, shall we, Will?

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