Pretty Little Liars recap: A dAngerous gAme (I got 99 questions and Red Coat easily makes up half of them)

First of all, sorry to anyone who follows my Glee recaps. I’m behind, but I plan to be caught up by the next new episode. Now, let’s get on to the totally bananas PLL season finale!

Previously on PLL: Dude, it’s the season finale. If you don’t know what happened, this is not the episode to start watching. Regardless, Spencer found out Toby’s part of A. Ezra has a kid and annoyingness ensued. Spencer found Toby’s dead body and completely lost her mind, so she ended up in Radley. It turned out that Toby might not be dead, but Spencer doesn’t believe it. The non-Radley girls broke into the morgue and did not find Toby’s body. Toby broke Spencer’s heart. A kidnapped Ezra’s son and left him at the creepiest puppet show ever. Park rangers found another dead body and believe it to be Toby. Aria tried to break up with Ezra, but he decided that didn’t really work for him. The previouslies end with a greatest hits montage of the shit that has happened to Spencer over the past year. Seriously, everything from snakes almost attacking her to getting trapped in her sauna. Girl’s had a rough time. It’s no wonder that she agreed to help out Mona. Yep, Spencer joined the A Team.

Spencer is home again. The other girls are waiting in her living room for her to come downstairs. They’re discussing whether Spencer will be good as new or still totally fucked up. Emily’s pretty upset about the fact that Toby’s dead. The girls are all dealing with that revelation. Spencer comes downstairs all dressed up and says that there’s no point to have hope in anything. She says they shouldn’t be sad because they lost Toby a long time ago. She goes on to comment about the fact she just got out of Radley and her parents set up an elaborate tea and crumpets spread as if nothing had happened. As someone who has had to deal with WASPs during times of grief, it’s so true. It’s as if they have no emotions. Hanna decides now is the perfect time to ask the question everyone has been wondering: what is the difference between a crumpet and an English muffin? Fortunately, Spencer has the answer. English muffins are baked goods and crumpets are griddlecakes. The girls all want to know how Spencer is doing. She says she’s better because she decided not to be a victim anymore. That’s not how it really works, but okay, hon. Spencer then hands out invitations to a big party her parents are throwing to show everyone Spencer is all better. She asks the girls to come and support her. They remind her they would do anything for her. She ominously says she’s counting on that.

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Pretty Little Liars recap: I’m Your Puppet (In which we see the most terrifying carnival ever)

Previously on PLL: Spencer completely lost it and ended up in Radley after seeing Toby’s dead body in the woods. Aria baby-sat Ezra’s incredibly clumsy son and he ended up in the emergency room. Hanna convinced Pastor Ted to hire Caleb’s Uncle Daddy to do renovations to the bell tower, but he might not be over his petty theft past. Spencer met E. Lamb and he told her about the troubles with the Radley ID badges. Ezra applied to be a substitute teacher in Rosewood, since apparently no other school districts are hiring anyone, so the vice principal asked Aria if she and Ezra are still dating. Aria was an idiot and lied. Mama Marin ran over Wilden, but he survived. Hanna and Aria pushed Wilden’s car into a lake, because they’re idiots. Mona went to visit Spencer in Radley and tried once more to get her to join the A Team.

Spencer is still hanging out in Radley, but she is apparently allowed visitors now. The girls come to hang out with Spencer in the day room. They assure her they wanted to be there the first day she was in the hospital, but no one would let them in. Spencer’s mom told the girls Spencer would be coming home tomorrow, but Spencer says her mom is delusional and she’s nowhere near ready to come home. The girls quickly realize just how fucked up Spencer is. However, Hanna decides to go ahead with some shock therapy. She tells Spencer the park rangers found a body in the woods. Emily and Aria try to get Hanna to lessen the blow a bit, but Hanna thinks telling Spencer the truth will get her out of Radley sooner. Emily takes over the story and tells Spencer they found a body in the woods, but it was not Toby’s. Spencer remains convinced. Aria changes the subject and asks Spencer if she wants to have a sleepover once she’s home tomorrow. Spencer shuts her down and says she needs more time in Radley. Hanna is having none of that and goes for the tough love approach. Hanna tells Spencer that Radley is crazy, not Spencer. At that point, Spencer decides she’s had enough. She gets up and starts to walk back to her room. As she leaves, she tells the girls that she feels safe at Radley because they can keep people out. When she gets back to her room, she starts digging around in her pillowcase for something. A nurse comes in to tell Spencer the girls are leaving and asks if she wants to say goodbye, but she says she already did so.

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Pretty Little Liars recap: Will the Circle Be Unbroken? (Spencer’s still cray cray)

Previously on PLL: Mama Marin ran over Wilden. His body went missing, but his car showed up in the Marin garage, so Hanna and Aria pushed it into a lake. Ezra has a stupid kid. Toby is A. Emily found Toby’s parking pass. Spencer found Toby’s body in the woods and promptly lost her damn mind, so she is in Radley now.

We open with Mona putting on makeup while she watches the girls behind her in her compact mirror. The girls are all freaking out because Spencer hasn’t shown up for school. The principal and Melissa come up to her, asking if they know where she is. Apparently, Spencer didn’t come home the night before and Melissa is losing her shit. Melissa is sure the girls know where she is, but they aren’t saying anything. After school ends, the girls start coming up with ideas of where Spencer might be.

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Pretty Little Liars recap: Out of Sight, Out of Mind (Someone’s dead! Maybe…)

Previously on PLL: Wilden shoved Cece into a car. Cece told Emily she thought Wilden was Ali’s baby daddy/murderer. Wilden threatened Mama Marin and she promptly ran over him with her car. Ezra’s mom is a terrible human being. Spencer was fucking epic and lunged at Mona while screaming “DIE” in the single greatest scene ever. Wilden went missing. A trapped Spencer in her home sauna, which made Spencer decide she had enough and was ready to spill the truth about Toby.

Aria and Spencer are chilling in Spencer’s room, just as we left them after the Sauna of Doom. Emily rushes in, eager to find out who Mona’s minion is. Hanna is nowhere to be found. Spencer wants to wait until Hanna gets there, but the other two are bursting with anticipation. Spencer reminds them that A has warned her not to tell the girls anything, which the girls remind her is nothing new. Eventually, she manages to tell them that Toby is part of the A Team. Aria and Emily have no idea to what to make of this information. Emily is having none of this. She tells Spencer that Toby loved her way too much, but Spencer tells Emily that his actions do not match that belief in any way. Aria realizes how badly this is affecting Spencer and apologizes for what she is going through. Emily remains convinced that there is more to the story. She is positive Mona must be blackmailing him. Spencer just starts laughing. She tells Emily to stop trying to make sense of things because nothing about the situation makes sense. She just needs to accept that Toby lied to them all about everything.

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Pretty Little Liars recap: Hot Water (You’ll never want to get in a sauna again)

Previously on PLL: Ezra turned out to be super rich and his mom is pretty much evil. Someone in a Queen of Hearts costume attacked Spencer on Halloween. At some point in time, Ali was on a boat with Cece and Wilden, so he’s obviously her potential babydaddy. Spencer and Toby broke up because he’s trying to ruin her life. Ezra left Rosewood to go meet his son. Hanna saw Paige flirting with some girl at a lesbian club, but it turned out Paige was trying to figure out who was the Queen of Hearts. Mona sent Wren to “help” Spencer during her complete and utter breakdown. Spencer launched herself across a table and tried to strangle Mona in possibly the best scene of the show ever. Aria and Ezra’s brother Wes kissed. Jason fell down an elevator shaft as Emily helplessly watched. Then he was somehow able to get up and walk out of his hospital bed.

The girls are at the coffee shop after it’s closed. Emily just might be taking advantage of her employee privileges. Hanna points out that the NAT Club is now out of Rosewood, so maybe A will back off. Always the pessimist, Spencer thinks A will just focus more on the girls. Emily wants to know why Cece lied about knowing Wilden. Aria’s just pissed that they lost the photo of Ali with Cece and Wilden. Hanna floats the possibility that Cece is Red Coat, or Head A. Hanna notices that Wren texted Spencer wanting to talk about what happened earlier, so naturally, Hanna just blurts out her question. Spencer tries to play it off, but the girls aren’t buying it. The girls want to know if Mona could have sabotaged the elevator, but Spencer tries to convince them there was no way it could have been her. They want to know who Spencer thinks is helping Mona, but she still refuses to tell them about Toby. Spencer is saved by a knock at the door. It’s none other than Wilden. He’s trying to find the girls and wants to know why Jason is “saying things” about him. Hanna blurts out that they know he spent time with Cece and Ali. The girls try to stop her from telling, but Hanna is just such a blurter. Wilden finally leaves, but not before being vaguely threatening toward Hanna.

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Pretty Little Liars recap: What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted (Spencer continues to go cray cray)

Previously on PLL: Spencer found out Toby is on the A Team and started spiraling out of control. Caleb’s uncle might be his dad. Mona called Spencer out for her lack of commitment to the academic decathlon. Ezra cried and then left town to meet his son, so his brother Wes came to stay in the empty apartment. Wilden went to Cape May at some point in his life and caught a big fish. Spencer decided to tell Jason in front of Ali’s new eternal resting place that Ali might have been pregnant when she died and the girls have decided Wilden is the babydaddy. Emily saw someone in a red coat by Ali’s grave the night her body was dug up.

The girls are all worried about Spencer. She hasn’t been showing up to classes. Emily tried to call Toby to find out what happened, but he is not returning her calls. Emily decides to get some cupcakes and show up at Spencer’s house after school. Hanna thinks they might be overreacting a bit and Spencer just needs to work through her pain. Aria thinks Spencer needs a riddle to exercise that part of her brain. They start talking about the possible girl in the red coat and Hanna drops the bomb that she thinks she saw her at her fake interview where the mannequins attacked.

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Pretty Little Liars recap: Dead to Me (in which Ali has yet another memorial service)

Previously on PLL: Aria met Ezra’s gorgeous little brother Wes. Spencer found out Toby’s part of A and awesomely slapped him across the face. Emily got a box of Ali’s things from Stalker Nate’s family. A “beach hottie” might have gotten Ali pregnant. Spencer cried outside Toby’s apartment while Mona enjoyed Spoby’s romantic anniversary dinner. Ezra left to meet his son. Spencer hired a PI to track Toby. Emily turned in Ali’s biology notebook to the police. At some point in time, Detective Wilden went to Cape May.

The girls sit around the coffee shop consoling Aria about Ezra leaving. Well, Emily and Hanna do. Spencer just focuses on the fact her coffee is now cold. They move on to discuss Wilden and what he knows. They’re convinced he’s the beach hottie mentioned in Ali’s notebook. Emily decides to go back to the police station and look at the photo again. Can we just think about that photo for a second? Why on Earth would one of Wilden’s private vacation photos be on display near the coffee machine in the police station? His office, yes. But in a public area? That’s just weird.

Jason DiLaurentis is back. Now that Ali’s remains have been returned to her family, they’ve decided to move them from her previous resting spot to a huge mausoleum. Maybe there’s better security there? Anyway, they’re going to have yet another burial service for Ali and Jason wants all the girls to have more time to say goodbye to Ali. Isn’t that what they’ve been doing for like two years now? Also, all the stuff buried with Ali’s body is still missing. Jason promises to keep the girls updated, but Spencer could give a shit. She’s done with saying goodbye to “Saint Ali.” Hanna tells Spencer to “dial it back,” but Spencer is so over Ali’s shit. As Spencer leaves, Aria assures Jason the other girls will be there.

Since Aria and Hanna have the items they put in Ali’s casket, Hanna thinks they should get rid of them pronto. The cops believe whoever has the mementos is the one who dug up Ali’s grave and the girls do not want to be implicated for that. Aria has a bad feeling that destroying evidence will just get them into more trouble. After some consideration, Aria decides to hang on to the earrings from Ali’s casket.

Spencer continues her downward spiral this week. She’s not even pretending to care about anyone else now. When Mona comes up to her to discuss Academic Decathlon stuff, I’m shocked Spencer doesn’t take out a knife and stab Mona right there. Mona starts talking about how Spencer is “off her A game” and needs to get ready for the Decathlon. Spencer assures her this is not a game to her. Something tells me they’re not talking about the Decathlon anymore at this point. Then Mona brings up Toby and walks away. Ouch.

Spencer’s private investigator has information for her. Apparently, a couple days ago, Toby bought some food, gas and $65 worth of hydrangeas. He’s now switched to cash, but the investigator is sure he’ll have to go back to his credit card eventually. He also traced the key to a general neighborhood, but he’ll need some more money to completely nail it down. The investigator tries to persuade Spencer that Toby just might be a good guy and Spencer is desperate enough that she seems to believe it. Spencer thinks about it for a while and decides to have the private investigator continue searching.

Jason finds Spencer and tells her the other girls are all coming to the cemetery that night. Spencer basically blows him off, which does not make him very happy. She goes on to meet the private investigator, who has traced A’s key to its exact keyhole. The private investigator clearly wants to know what Spencer thinks is behind the door, but she’s not giving a whole lot of information. She asks him if he ever played the “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” game with flowers. Spencer says the secret is just picking a flower with an odd number of petals. Without missing a beat, the private investigator names two types of flowers with odd numbers of petals. Apparently, he spent a lot of time playing that game. She asks him how many petals are on a hydrangea, but he doesn’t know that one.

Emily goes back to the police station under the guise of going out to dinner with her mom. She glances over to the bulletin board and sure enough, the picture of Wilden is gone. Mama Fields sees a postcard in her bag from Paris and Emily quickly grabs it away. On the back is a message in French that is clearly from A. She goes to visit Spencer to tell her about the postcard, which is apparently the artifact she put in Ali’s casket. Actually, she put in 25 postcards, so Emily’s about to get a whole lot of mail. Emily is also not a French speaker, because she thinks the message on the back is a death threat. Spencer translates it for her. Apparently, it really says that the police know Emily is capable of killing someone. Emily realizes A is talking about Nate, so Spencer tries to assure her the police know Emily was in the right in that situation. Before she leaves, Emily notices that Spencer is boxing up everything that reminds her of Toby. She tries to tell Spencer that things might not be that bad and she shouldn’t write off their relationship just yet. We also find out that Paige was not cheating on Emily last week. She was flirting with a woman who works at a costume shop to try to find out who bought the Queen of Hearts costume last Halloween. Spencer tells Emily that sometimes the truth is worse than what you expect.

Emily decides to go back to the therapist from last season. They talk a bit about Mona being back at school before Emily divulges that she killed Nate. The therapist tries to remind Emily that she was just defending herself, but Emily cannot see herself as a good person. She keeps reliving that night and cannot deal with it. Dr. Sullivan asks Emily if she has ever had hypnotherapy, but Emily says she has no problems remembering what happened. Dr. Sullivan says that hypnotherapy can also be used to reframe memories you already have.

On her next visit, Dr. Sullivan hypnotizes Emily. Dr. Sullivan asks Emily to remember that night at the lighthouse, but Emily actually remembers the night that Ali died. Emily starts freaking the fuck out. She sees herself holding a shovel and then picking it up as Ali screams. Yeah, like Emily could kill Ali. That’s not even a realistic red herring. After she leaves Dr. Sullivan’s office, Emily is still freaking out. She flashes back to a conversation with Ali about them moving to France one day. It’s all very sweet and reiterates the point that Emily was far too in love with Ali to ever kill her. After the flashback ends, Emily proceeds to freak out on her mom for treating her like she is still “sweet and innocent.” Emily is firmly convinced that she’s a cold-blooded killer.

Hanna spends most of the episode with Caleb at his aunt’s old house. This is the aunt that put him into foster care and, as such, is the source of all his issues. At first, Caleb does not have any interest in going to see his former home, but Hanna persuades him to go. They get to the farm and help Caleb’s uncle sort through everything. Caleb has very little to say and clearly does not want to be there. The important part of this whole storyline is that Hanna is wearing freaking overalls. Legit denim overalls. I refuse to believe she owns something as hideous as those. What happened to my favorite fashionista? The other important part of this storyline is that Caleb’s uncle might actually be his dad. Caleb’s uncle gives Hanna a picture of Caleb as an infant. It’s clearly worn around the corners, like it’s been in his wallet. The person holding Caleb is wearing a ring just like his uncle’s. All signs point to Uncle Jamie actually being Father Jamie.

Aria is spending all her free time at Ezra’s place, just waiting for him to come home. It’s a touch creepy. Anyway, she hears someone fumbling with a key and runs to the door, but it’s just Little Brother Wes. Apparently, Ezra said Wes could use his apartment whenever he’s away, so Wes has come to take him up on that offer. They quickly catch up on the Ezra/Maggie situation and then Aria asks why Wes isn’t in class. Apparently, his school decided to shut down in the middle of the semester to fumigate everything. Aria is an idiot and buys that as an acceptable excuse. Wes realizes that Aria is pathetic and encourages her to still hang around Ezra’s place. A day or so later, Aria goes back to Ezra’s place and Wes is still there. The phone rings and Wes totally freaks out. He and Aria decide to go get some food. The way Wes is acting, you’d think the mob is about to come after him. On their way back from the pizza place, someone comes after Wes and he attacks him with the leftover pizza. Apparently, the guy in question was Wes’s physics teacher’s husband. When they get back to Ezra’s apartment, Aria questions why Wes’s teacher’s husband wanted to kill him. Wes says to blame his mother for everything. All he was doing was trying to get kicked out of school and his mom just kept buying off the school board. He tried to fail classes and break rules. Nothing was working, so he just had to hit on his physics teacher.

As Dr. Sullivan leaves her office, Mona is waiting there to say hi with an officewarming present. It’s completely terrifying and Dr. Sullivan seems to think so, too.

Spencer goes to the apartment where A’s key leads and it has been completely cleared out. Spencer is devastated and bursts into tears.

We end the episode with Ali’s re-internment service. The girls and Jason wait for Spencer, but Jason realizes she is not going to show up. They go over to Ali’s new resting place and just stare at it awkwardly. Aria realizes Emily is upset about something. Spencer shows up after all and decides to clue in Jason about Ali’s potential pregnancy. The girls try to stop Spencer and tell her that in front of his sister’s grave is probably not the right place to drop this bombshell, but Spencer does not care about anything anymore. She tells Jason that if Ali was pregnant, then it was Detective Wilden’s baby. Jason leaves, possibly to assault a police officer. The other girls leave Spencer standing there, reminding her they’re her friends and not her punching bag. Hanna asks what they’re going to do about Jason, but Aria is more worried about Spencer right now. Emily says it’s one thing to doubt the person you love, but it’s another thing to doubt yourself. Emily realizes that what she remembered in Dr. Sullivan’s office was actually the night Ali’s grave was dug up. She sees A digging up Ali’s grave and also remembers a “girl in a red coat.” Hanna asks if it could have been Ali in the red coat, but Aria dismisses that as crazy. Emily says that whoever it was, she was blonde, wearing a red coat, and in charge of everything. We see Spencer go over to Toby’s mother’s crypt, where she proceeds to etch Toby’s name above his mom’s.

Our A vignette for the week is someone in a black hoodie buying a bottle of whiskey. We hear someone yell to make sure the clerk sees an ID and the black hoodie goes to pull out a driver’s license, but it of course fades to black before we actually see who it is. However, either Toby or Mona has a fake ID or we’ve got yet another black hoodie to unveil at some point in time.

Major questions brought about this week: Where the hell did Hanna get those overalls? How soon before Spencer stabs Mona? Why would Wilden’s private vacation photos be on display at his workplace?

Next week: Spencer continues to go cray cray.