The musings of a feminist pop culture fanatic

Every now and then, when I think Glee is really start to grow in terms of plot development, Ryan Murphy proves me wrong and throws in a ridiculous theme episode that serves absolutely no purpose. This week’s theme, songs from movies!

Previously: Jake and Marley are together, but Ryder kissed Marley. Will and Emma are together and about to get married, but Finn kissed Emma. She then proceeded to have an epic meltdown and left Will at the altar. Tina had a really creepy crush on Blaine. Lots of people hooked up at Will and Emma’s non-wedding. Rachel thinks she’s pregnant. Santana moved into the Hummelberry + Brody loft. Brody has some sort of side business going on that requires him to frequent hotels and get paid in large amounts of cash.

Since this is dedicated to movie music, we get a lot of ridiculous stand-alone scenes that do nothing to further the plot. In fact, we get one to start off the episode! We start off with Will and Emma performing Fred Astaire’s “You’re All the World to Me” in a black and white scene that is basically a scene straight from the 1951 musical “Royal Wedding,” complete with climbing the walls. Since we know that Emma and Will are on the outs, this is clearly a dream sequence.

However, it provide Schue with inspiration for this week’s theme. That’s right, his ridiculous dream led to this episode being inflicted upon us. Kind of like how Stephenie Meyer’s dreams led to Twilight. You know, I have lots of stupid dreams. I might share them as a quick anecdote in conversation if they were particularly humorous, but I don’t go around forcing mass audiences to share my crazy ass subconscious. Let’s learn from that, shall we, Will?

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First of all, sorry to anyone who follows my Glee recaps. I’m behind, but I plan to be caught up by the next new episode. Now, let’s get on to the totally bananas PLL season finale!

Previously on PLL: Dude, it’s the season finale. If you don’t know what happened, this is not the episode to start watching. Regardless, Spencer found out Toby’s part of A. Ezra has a kid and annoyingness ensued. Spencer found Toby’s dead body and completely lost her mind, so she ended up in Radley. It turned out that Toby might not be dead, but Spencer doesn’t believe it. The non-Radley girls broke into the morgue and did not find Toby’s body. Toby broke Spencer’s heart. A kidnapped Ezra’s son and left him at the creepiest puppet show ever. Park rangers found another dead body and believe it to be Toby. Aria tried to break up with Ezra, but he decided that didn’t really work for him. The previouslies end with a greatest hits montage of the shit that has happened to Spencer over the past year. Seriously, everything from snakes almost attacking her to getting trapped in her sauna. Girl’s had a rough time. It’s no wonder that she agreed to help out Mona. Yep, Spencer joined the A Team.

Spencer is home again. The other girls are waiting in her living room for her to come downstairs. They’re discussing whether Spencer will be good as new or still totally fucked up. Emily’s pretty upset about the fact that Toby’s dead. The girls are all dealing with that revelation. Spencer comes downstairs all dressed up and says that there’s no point to have hope in anything. She says they shouldn’t be sad because they lost Toby a long time ago. She goes on to comment about the fact she just got out of Radley and her parents set up an elaborate tea and crumpets spread as if nothing had happened. As someone who has had to deal with WASPs during times of grief, it’s so true. It’s as if they have no emotions. Hanna decides now is the perfect time to ask the question everyone has been wondering: what is the difference between a crumpet and an English muffin? Fortunately, Spencer has the answer. English muffins are baked goods and crumpets are griddlecakes. The girls all want to know how Spencer is doing. She says she’s better because she decided not to be a victim anymore. That’s not how it really works, but okay, hon. Spencer then hands out invitations to a big party her parents are throwing to show everyone Spencer is all better. She asks the girls to come and support her. They remind her they would do anything for her. She ominously says she’s counting on that.

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Previously on PLL: Spencer completely lost it and ended up in Radley after seeing Toby’s dead body in the woods. Aria baby-sat Ezra’s incredibly clumsy son and he ended up in the emergency room. Hanna convinced Pastor Ted to hire Caleb’s Uncle Daddy to do renovations to the bell tower, but he might not be over his petty theft past. Spencer met E. Lamb and he told her about the troubles with the Radley ID badges. Ezra applied to be a substitute teacher in Rosewood, since apparently no other school districts are hiring anyone, so the vice principal asked Aria if she and Ezra are still dating. Aria was an idiot and lied. Mama Marin ran over Wilden, but he survived. Hanna and Aria pushed Wilden’s car into a lake, because they’re idiots. Mona went to visit Spencer in Radley and tried once more to get her to join the A Team.

Spencer is still hanging out in Radley, but she is apparently allowed visitors now. The girls come to hang out with Spencer in the day room. They assure her they wanted to be there the first day she was in the hospital, but no one would let them in. Spencer’s mom told the girls Spencer would be coming home tomorrow, but Spencer says her mom is delusional and she’s nowhere near ready to come home. The girls quickly realize just how fucked up Spencer is. However, Hanna decides to go ahead with some shock therapy. She tells Spencer the park rangers found a body in the woods. Emily and Aria try to get Hanna to lessen the blow a bit, but Hanna thinks telling Spencer the truth will get her out of Radley sooner. Emily takes over the story and tells Spencer they found a body in the woods, but it was not Toby’s. Spencer remains convinced. Aria changes the subject and asks Spencer if she wants to have a sleepover once she’s home tomorrow. Spencer shuts her down and says she needs more time in Radley. Hanna is having none of that and goes for the tough love approach. Hanna tells Spencer that Radley is crazy, not Spencer. At that point, Spencer decides she’s had enough. She gets up and starts to walk back to her room. As she leaves, she tells the girls that she feels safe at Radley because they can keep people out. When she gets back to her room, she starts digging around in her pillowcase for something. A nurse comes in to tell Spencer the girls are leaving and asks if she wants to say goodbye, but she says she already did so.

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Previously on PLL: Mama Marin ran over Wilden. His body went missing, but his car showed up in the Marin garage, so Hanna and Aria pushed it into a lake. Ezra has a stupid kid. Toby is A. Emily found Toby’s parking pass. Spencer found Toby’s body in the woods and promptly lost her damn mind, so she is in Radley now.

We open with Mona putting on makeup while she watches the girls behind her in her compact mirror. The girls are all freaking out because Spencer hasn’t shown up for school. The principal and Melissa come up to her, asking if they know where she is. Apparently, Spencer didn’t come home the night before and Melissa is losing her shit. Melissa is sure the girls know where she is, but they aren’t saying anything. After school ends, the girls start coming up with ideas of where Spencer might be.

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Previously on PLL: Wilden shoved Cece into a car. Cece told Emily she thought Wilden was Ali’s baby daddy/murderer. Wilden threatened Mama Marin and she promptly ran over him with her car. Ezra’s mom is a terrible human being. Spencer was fucking epic and lunged at Mona while screaming “DIE” in the single greatest scene ever. Wilden went missing. A trapped Spencer in her home sauna, which made Spencer decide she had enough and was ready to spill the truth about Toby.

Aria and Spencer are chilling in Spencer’s room, just as we left them after the Sauna of Doom. Emily rushes in, eager to find out who Mona’s minion is. Hanna is nowhere to be found. Spencer wants to wait until Hanna gets there, but the other two are bursting with anticipation. Spencer reminds them that A has warned her not to tell the girls anything, which the girls remind her is nothing new. Eventually, she manages to tell them that Toby is part of the A Team. Aria and Emily have no idea to what to make of this information. Emily is having none of this. She tells Spencer that Toby loved her way too much, but Spencer tells Emily that his actions do not match that belief in any way. Aria realizes how badly this is affecting Spencer and apologizes for what she is going through. Emily remains convinced that there is more to the story. She is positive Mona must be blackmailing him. Spencer just starts laughing. She tells Emily to stop trying to make sense of things because nothing about the situation makes sense. She just needs to accept that Toby lied to them all about everything.

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It’s Valentine’s Day! Finn and Rachel meet up at the Lima Bean to have an awkward conversation. Rachel is, of course, super selfish and just wants to talk about herself and Brody. Finn shuts that talk down right away. He’s distraught because he kissed Miss Pillsbury. You know, his former guidance counselor who is about to marry his mentor. Kind of an awkward situation. And he’s the best man in the wedding. Rachel tries to console him, but Finn announces to the whole coffee shop that he’s the worst person in the world. Rachel says he was probably just upset about her and Brody, but Finn awesomely tells her not everything is about her. She tells him to just act supportive.

Finn goes to visit Emma in her office. She’s freaking out over wedding preparations and her OCD is in overdrive. Emma apologizes for not having a pamphlet for Finn, but he should just get over it. Emma asks Finn to just stay away and leave her alone. Will knocks on the door because he’s apparently back in town. Until he showed up, I had almost forgotten he was gone. He really just adds nothing to the show anymore. Anyway, he patronizingly asks how his “nervous little bride” is doing. She’s clearly about to have a nervous breakdown, Will. He says he’ll help her with wedding stuff after glee practice.

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Previously on PLL: Ezra turned out to be super rich and his mom is pretty much evil. Someone in a Queen of Hearts costume attacked Spencer on Halloween. At some point in time, Ali was on a boat with Cece and Wilden, so he’s obviously her potential babydaddy. Spencer and Toby broke up because he’s trying to ruin her life. Ezra left Rosewood to go meet his son. Hanna saw Paige flirting with some girl at a lesbian club, but it turned out Paige was trying to figure out who was the Queen of Hearts. Mona sent Wren to “help” Spencer during her complete and utter breakdown. Spencer launched herself across a table and tried to strangle Mona in possibly the best scene of the show ever. Aria and Ezra’s brother Wes kissed. Jason fell down an elevator shaft as Emily helplessly watched. Then he was somehow able to get up and walk out of his hospital bed.

The girls are at the coffee shop after it’s closed. Emily just might be taking advantage of her employee privileges. Hanna points out that the NAT Club is now out of Rosewood, so maybe A will back off. Always the pessimist, Spencer thinks A will just focus more on the girls. Emily wants to know why Cece lied about knowing Wilden. Aria’s just pissed that they lost the photo of Ali with Cece and Wilden. Hanna floats the possibility that Cece is Red Coat, or Head A. Hanna notices that Wren texted Spencer wanting to talk about what happened earlier, so naturally, Hanna just blurts out her question. Spencer tries to play it off, but the girls aren’t buying it. The girls want to know if Mona could have sabotaged the elevator, but Spencer tries to convince them there was no way it could have been her. They want to know who Spencer thinks is helping Mona, but she still refuses to tell them about Toby. Spencer is saved by a knock at the door. It’s none other than Wilden. He’s trying to find the girls and wants to know why Jason is “saying things” about him. Hanna blurts out that they know he spent time with Cece and Ali. The girls try to stop her from telling, but Hanna is just such a blurter. Wilden finally leaves, but not before being vaguely threatening toward Hanna.

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