The musings of a feminist pop culture fanatic

Previously on Glee: A gun went off at school. Sue took the blame for it, but it was actually Becky’s gun. Finn kissed Emma and the Wemma wedding got completely derailed. Will got super pissed at Finn, so Finn decided to enroll in college in the middle of the semester to become a teacher. Broadway is apparently reviving Funny Girl, so Rachel flipped out and decided to audition for the role of Fanny Bryce.

Finn is now a student at the University of Lima, where he is studying education. Well, theoretically. Apparently, the U of L is like the number one party school in the world and everyone is majoring in the Harlem Shake. His room is the biggest party spot on campus, thanks to his new roommate Puck. Here’s what’s awkward about this storyline. Cory Monteith and Mark Salling are both so clearly in their thirties. They don’t come off as college freshmen. They’re more the awkward alumni that come back for Homecoming and try to relive their college days, but it just ends up being kind of sad.

Rachel is auditioning for Funny Girl, so she’s in full-on diva mode and pretending to be Barbra Streisand. Ugh. We get some backstory about the history of Funny Girl. Rachel goes over to her Barbra shrine and pays her daily respects while we get a really long voiceover about how important this role is to Rachel’s very existence.

Now that Sue is gone, Coach Roz is back to take over the Cheerios. She comes in and asks if people are still recovering from that “fake school shooting.” Yep, way to diminish something that utterly terrified an entire school. She leaves and Bieste asks if Will has talked to Finn. Will isn’t ready to forgive Finn, so he says they’ve just grown apart. Bieste calls bullshit and tells Will to make the effort to patch things up between them.

We’re up to our third voiceover in under five minutes. This time, it’s Marley’s turn. She’s decided to embrace her songwriting abilities and make her lyrics known to the world. She says she keeps trying to bring up her songs to the rest of the glee club, but they’re all dealing with PTSD after the shooting. Tina has gone full-on steampunk. Brittany is stressing because MIT wants her to commit to going there next year. Bullshit, so much bullshit. Sam is alternating between being himself and his British twin, Evan. Unique is taking birth control to boost hormones and help her grow boobs.

Will comes in and tells them that the theme for Regionals this year is “Dreams.” He wants to be sure that they win by being completely literal. Their set list will be “Dream Weaver,” “Sweet Dreams,” and “You Make My Dreams Come True.” How original, Will. The club pretends to be excited, but Will notices Marley is frowning and calls her out on it. She says she doesn’t know those songs and wonders if maybe original songs could work. Will says absolutely not and that the only reason it worked two years ago was because the members he had then were more talented. Marley wants to talk about the set list, but Will shuts all of them down immediately in a totally dickish way.

Blaine calls a secret meeting of the glee club in the auditorium after practice. Sam is still switching back and forth between being himself and being Evan. Blaine asks how much longer they should let it go on, but Artie is afraid it would be like waking a sleepwalker and possibly kill him. Oy vey. Blaine points out that Mr. Schue’s set list totally sucks and everyone agrees with him. Marley stands up and asks if they could perform some of her songs, but Kitty shuts her down and says they don’t want to perform songs about “fat moms” or “barfing.” Poor Marley sits back down and Blaine says they need to seriously start brainstorming.

Puck and Finn have set up a slip and slide in the hallway. Finn is making grilled cheese with an iron. Will shows up and Puck goes to give him a hug. He tells Will he’s auditing a few classes and Will asks if Puck even knows what that means. Will rightfully asks if Finn is even making it to class. Finn tells him not to come into his house and make judgements on how he’s living his life. Will apologizes and asks Finn to come back and help him with glee club. Puck runs up and says they got invited to some big frat party. Finn turns down Will’s offer and runs away, flying down the slip and slide.

The next day, Will is leading glee practice. He tells them some bullshit about switching vocal styles between the songs. Blaine brings up the fact that their set list sucks and the club brainstormed some alternative suggestions. Will turns into a total dick. He calls out the entire glee club for openly defying him. He makes a totally transphobic comment when tells Unique to tone down the “whole boob thing.” I can’t even. Will has become such an unlikable character that I really hope he leaves the show soon. He calls out Sam for the whole twin thing. He then tells Blaine he’s disappointed in him for even considering anything other than Will’s law. If I could punch a character in the face, my fist would be meeting Will’s jaw right around here. Will leaves for the teacher’s lounge and tells them that when he comes back, they better be ready to rehearse the assigned songs.

Rachel is in one of the NYADA practice rooms, rehearsing for her audition. Shelby comes back and gives Rachel some advice on what to do for her audition. She tells Rachel not to sing any Barbra songs at her audition because she needs to show that she’s an original. In a total callback to their performance of “Poker Face” from Season 1, Rachel and Shelby gather around the piano to perform Emeli Sande’s “Next to Me.”

Finn and Puck are at a frat party. They’re performing the Beastie Boys’ “Fight for Your Right (To Party).” Afterwards, they get invited to join the frat without having to pledge. Trust me, that never happens.

Blaine, Unique, and Evan come into the auditorium to meet Marley and Brad. She tells them that she wrote a song about how much friends like them mean to her and she wants them to help her sing it. She says she noticed that Will was especially dickish to the three of them and she wanted to show them how much she cares. They go on to perform Mervyn Warren and Jeff Marx’s “You Have More Friends Than You Know.” It’s really freaking awesome and touching. I’ll be honest. I adore Marley and everything she does. Will watches from the sidelines. When the song ends, Blaine, Unique and Sam tell Marley how awesome her song is. They ask if she has any other originals and she asks if maybe they’d want to meet up again and sing some of them. Blaine says they need to bring them to Will and the rest of glee club, but Marley says Mr. Schue made it pretty clear he didn’t even want to hear them. At that moment, Will finally realizes he’s been a giant ass and has actually been crushing Marley’s dreams.

Finn is chilling in his dorm room when Rachel calls him. Any Finchel fans probably love this scene, but Finn and Rachel are two of my least favorite characters on this show. They talk about how much Finn loves partying at college. However, about five seconds into the conversation, Rachel realizes it’s not all about her and changes the subject to her audition. Finn goes on to tell Rachel how she’s the most amazing person that has ever lived and some other bullshit. I kinda tuned them out.

We immediately cut to Rachel’s audition where Amy Aquino and another HITG (Hey! It’s That Guy) are judging everyone. Rachel comes out and performs Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” About thirty seconds into the song, it switches to a replica of the first time the song was ever sung. Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, and Tina are on the stage with her, wearing the exact clothes they wore in the pilot when they performed this song. Even all these years later, when I have lost faith in this show so many times, I hear this song and am instantly reminded why I fell in love with this show. Every time I see them perform this song, I get chills. The song ends and one of the casting guys asks what she was thinking during the song. She tells them she was thinking about her friends and how they impacted her life.

We’re back in Finn and Puck’s dorm room. Puck gives Finn a piece of paper that was apparently taped to their door or something. It tells Finn that he missed another test in his sociology class. Finn dismisses it as “no biggie,” but Puck shuts him down right away. He goes on to lecture Finn about not wasting opportunities and remembering why he came to college in the first place. Puck goes on to tell Finn that this isn’t high school and he needs to get his shit together. Puck tells Finn that he had an epiphany last night. He wants to show everyone who ever doubted him that he’s worth something. He tells Finn that he’s going to stick around, write his screenplay, and be on Finn’s ass to help him prove that he can be an awesome teacher.

Blaine and Becky go in to Coach Roz’s office. Roz tells Blaine how suspicious she is of him and accuses him of putting a hex on Sue to make her bring a gun to school. It really makes no sense. Becky says that’s not what happened, but then says she wasn’t there, so she doesn’t actually know. Blaine looks like he’s finally starting to figure out what really happened. Roz tells the two that they’ll have to take a blood oath and loyalty pledge if they want to stay on the squad. Coach Roz makes Blaine and Becky take a ridiculous oath to never put a hex on her. She dismisses them. Blaine corners Becky and asks if she knows anything about what happened with Sue and the gun. Becky says she doesn’t and goes on a rampage down the hallway.

Will is standing in the auditorium, fantasizing about winning Nationals last year. Finn comes in and tells Will that he was right about needing to get his focus back. Finn apparently talked the dean and got her to agree to giving him college credit for helping out with the glee club. Will asks if that means Finn accepts his apology, but Finn isn’t quite there yet. He tells Will that if he comes back, he’s not going to be Will’s gofer. He wants to be an equal partner. Will asks if they can just move past all the Emma stuff. They proceed to hug it out.

Will comes back into the choir room where everyone is pretty much giving him the cold shoulder. He tells the glee club about his former teacher and apologizes for taking away any of their voices. He then has Finn come back in the room and announces that they are going to be equal partners. He tells Marley that she’s up. She stands and says she doesn’t quite have the songs memorized. He tells her that he wants her to teach them one of her original songs. She is so overjoyed and it’s freaking adorable.

Rachel is sitting in the apartment, glaring at her phone. Kurt makes her some cookies and they talk about the audition. The phone goes off and Rachel freaks out. Naturally, Rachel got a call back for the role, no matter how unbelievable that may be.

We’re back in the auditorium where Marley is singing one of her original songs called “Outcast.” It’s way better than any of the other original songs they’ve performed. Will literally cartwheels onto the stage for some reason and the episode ends.

Next episode: McKinley experiences the longest power outage ever.

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