The musings of a feminist pop culture fanatic

Previously on PLL: Wilden shoved Cece into a car. Cece told Emily she thought Wilden was Ali’s baby daddy/murderer. Wilden threatened Mama Marin and she promptly ran over him with her car. Ezra’s mom is a terrible human being. Spencer was fucking epic and lunged at Mona while screaming “DIE” in the single greatest scene ever. Wilden went missing. A trapped Spencer in her home sauna, which made Spencer decide she had enough and was ready to spill the truth about Toby.

Aria and Spencer are chilling in Spencer’s room, just as we left them after the Sauna of Doom. Emily rushes in, eager to find out who Mona’s minion is. Hanna is nowhere to be found. Spencer wants to wait until Hanna gets there, but the other two are bursting with anticipation. Spencer reminds them that A has warned her not to tell the girls anything, which the girls remind her is nothing new. Eventually, she manages to tell them that Toby is part of the A Team. Aria and Emily have no idea to what to make of this information. Emily is having none of this. She tells Spencer that Toby loved her way too much, but Spencer tells Emily that his actions do not match that belief in any way. Aria realizes how badly this is affecting Spencer and apologizes for what she is going through. Emily remains convinced that there is more to the story. She is positive Mona must be blackmailing him. Spencer just starts laughing. She tells Emily to stop trying to make sense of things because nothing about the situation makes sense. She just needs to accept that Toby lied to them all about everything.

The next morning, Emily is working at the coffee shop and still trying to get hold of Toby. It’s heartbreaking to watch Spencer lose faith in her former boyfriend, but Emily was also extremely close to Toby. She is just as heartbroken, but in a completely different way. She steals the keys to the loft and ropes Hanna into investigating things. As Emily tears apart Toby’s former home looking for any clues, Hanna surfs channels looking for any information on Wilden. Emily is shocked Hanna is watching the news. Hanna tells Emily that Spencer is right and they need to stop looking for Toby. He’s dangerous and has the potential to really hurt them. Emily is still convinced he’s harmless because she’s been alone with him and he never hurt her. Hanna reminds Emily that she has been alone with Mona plenty of times without getting hurt, but Mona is definitely still evil. Emily is still in denial and points out that Lucas was blackmailed into doing things for Mona. It could be the same for Toby. Oh, honey. It’s not, though. While going through one of Toby’s books, Emily finds a Radley parking pass for “E. Lamb,” a.k.a. Toby’s alias. Hanna tells Emily to just go talk to Toby’s parents.

Spencer opens her door to find someone has put a giant funeral wreath there with a ribbon saying “With Deepest Sympathy.” There is also a note from A saying that someone close to Spencer will pay for her “loose lips.” Later, Spencer meets the three girls at the coffee shop and fills them in on her flower delivery. Spencer tells Emily to stop looking for Toby because he doesn’t want to be found. Unfortunately, Mona is there in the coffee shop and Spencer runs up to her. She thanks Mona for the flowers and tells Mona to stay the hell away from her friends. Mona leaves with a vaguely threatening response about watching over the orchids or they won’t make it through the light. As she says it, she glances over her Spencer’s shoulder at Hanna and Emily. Later, Spencer realizes that there are two letters on the ribbon that are not shiny. It’s an “E” and a “M.” Of course, that clearly means that the entire wreath is a threat against Emily. Spencer quickly goes over to Emily’s house to tell her the latest theory. Emily doesn’t think it’s that big a deal and also that Spencer might be reading too much into things. Spencer says that she just has a feeling Mona is going to attack Emily tonight and insists that she stay with her for the rest of the day. Emily thinks that is a bit overkill, but she does at least reluctantly agree to stop looking for Toby.

Emily goes over to Toby’s parents’ house, only to see that it has clearly been left vacant. Someone pulls up in Toby’s truck and Emily asks the random guy if he knows where Toby is. Of course, Toby left without telling anyone where he was going. That’s because he doesn’t want to be found, Emily. Later, she goes to the police station to ask if her mom can do anything to help find Toby. Emily’s mom basically tells her that there is nothing she can really do. Emily, your mom is not a detective. She has no power to speed up any sort of investigation. Mama Fields tells Emily that she does not trust Toby and thinks Emily should just let this go. Mama Fields gets distracted with actual work and Emily asks to use her computer to check e-mail. Of course, she’s not actually checking that and is really using the police database to look up entries for E. Lamb, but the system is naturally moving at a glacial pace. Before she gets any results back, she gets a text from Toby that tells her to stop looking because he will meet with her.

Later, Mona is at the coffee shop, counting a bag of money. She gets a call and says that it’s all there. She gets up to leave and Spencer follows her out the door. Spencer follows Mona to the woods. Honey, that is not in any way safe. Why do you not understand this? Spencer goes deeper into the woods only to see a body lying by a campfire. We never see the face, but we do see Toby’s tattoo as Spencer falls to the ground, crying. He’s wearing a motorcycle helmet and as Spencer goes to pull up the face guard, we hear Mona say that he’s dead and run away. Spencer runs through the woods after her, screaming all the way. Naturally, Mona outruns her. I swear there must be a cardio text to be on the A Team. Spencer eventually stops and just falls to the ground, sobbing. Troian Bellisario is bringing it so hard this season. I really wish the Emmys would even consider actors on the show for awards, because she is nailing every scene.

Emily gets to the meeting place Toby arranged and it’s a sketchy back alley somewhere. Girl, get out of there. But no, she double checks the text and decides to stick around. Emily waits in her car for a while and is just about to give up when she sees Red Coat walk into the creepy building. It turns out to be a workshop. Inside, she finds the guy who had Toby’s truck along with some other people. She tells this guy that Toby told her to meet him there, but the guy basically thinks she’s crazy. It only reaffirms this when she asks if he saw a blonde in a red coat walk through there, but he says no one has come through in a few hours. He basically dismisses her and addresses her by name. She says she never told him her name, but he says she did and then goes back to work. Curiouser and curiouser. Emily walks back to her car, only to see the driver’s side window smashed in. Inside is a red envelope addressed to her. It contains a fake coffin with a note from A that says, “Toby is no more.” It also has a funeral program with Toby’s face on it.

In ridiculous subplots, Hanna and Mama Marin are freaking out over Mama’s hit and run. Mama Marin logically assumes he got taken to a hospital, but Hanna is positive he’s out in the woods somewhere, trying to figure out how to ruin the Marin family. Mama Marin starts dialing her phone and Hanna flips out. She tells her mom that she has to stay quiet. She can’t say or do anything until they find out what happened to Wilden. Mama Marin reminds Hanna that she hit a police officer with her car and then left the scene of the accident, and thus, she might need a lawyer at some point in the near future. Hanna tells Mama Marin that she can’t tell the police anything because there’s no going back from there. For some reason, Mama Marin decides to take Hanna’s advice and swears her to secrecy. The next morning, Mama Marin is walking through town and sees what she thinks is Wilden. However, when she glances back, the person is gone. Later, Hanna gets home to discover Wilden’s police car in her garage with the lights flashing and the dashboard camera playing the video of the hit and run.

A little while later, Aria goes over to Hanna’s house where Hanna is losing her shit. She says she hit the black box in the police car 500 times and it’s still in tact. Yeah, Hanna, those things are built to withstand plane crashes. They can take the upper body strength of a high school female. Aria reminds Hanna that whoever put the car in her garage probably has copies of the video. Hanna says it had to be A who put the car in the garage. They start speculating on whether Wilden is still alive. Aria finally makes a smart suggestion and tells Hanna to tell her mom what is happening. Hanna freaks out and says Mama Marin can’t handle this. Aria reminds her that her mom is amazing and is already involved in what is going on. Hanna tells Aria to get in her car and follow her. Next thing we know, the girls are trying to push the car into a lake. Oh, Hanna. You are so not the bright one in the group. Aria is reluctant to destroy evidence in such a ridiculous way, but Hanna hulks out and shoves the car in the water. They stand and watch it for a while. For such a heavy object, it is taking a really long time to sink. Hanna assures Aria it will eventually sink. Aria keeps saying that someone will be looking for the car and they will be in huge trouble if anyone finds out what happened. The car finally sinks, but the lights start flashing. Eventually, the lights go off and the water stills. Hanna goes home to find her mom waiting for her. Mama Marin tells Hanna she thinks she saw Wilden in town. She says she drove by the accident and found out that his car was gone. She tells Hanna that they would know by now if he was really hurt or wanted to press charges. She thinks she might not have hit him that hard and he had a change of heart. She tells Hanna she thinks everything is going to go away. Hanna sits there, silently, knowing that shit will soon hit the fan.

In the most boring subplot ever, Maggie and Malcolm are in Rosewood while Maggie looks for a job and a house. Aria realizes that this is all getting to be a bit too much for her to handle and she freaks out a bit. She agrees to baby-sit Malcolm. He gets hurt while she’s watching him and ends up in the emergency room with a cut chin. Aria finally decides to confide in her mom about everything that is happening. Ella tells Aria a kid is a lot for any relationship to handle and no one will blame her if she decides she doesn’t want to take on that responsibility. Aria says she loves Ezra, but Ella reminds her that not every relationship is meant to last. Aria is conflicted.

We end the episode with park rangers finding Spencer wandering the woods, completely despondent. She won’t tell them her name. They bring her to the hospital and request a psych evaluation. Meanwhile, Hanna and Aria fill in Emily on their brilliant decision to push Wilden’s car into the lake. Emily tells Aria it’s her job to talk Hanna out of doing stupid things like that. Aria said she tried, but it didn’t work. They discuss the funeral program and Emily worries that it’s her fault Toby died. They all wonder where Spencer is as we see her locked up in Radley. She is lying in a bed, blankly staring ahead. She has totally and completely lost it.

For our ending vignette, we see a fisher standing on a dock. He reels in the line to find a Rosewood Police hat on the end. Clearly, that car will not stay hidden for long.

Next episode: Spencer is still crazy.

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