I’m going to take a quick break from the entertainment reviews with this post. For those of you who don’t know me, this past week has been particularly atrocious. However, parts of it have also been great. Here’s just a quick glimpse into the events of the past seven days.

I started off the week with a fantastic first interview with City Year. A couple hours later, I got fired from my job, which I absolutely adored. Then I found out I got a second interview with City Year. Tuesday, I found out that my grandmother was being taken off dialysis and going into hospice care. I had another great City Year interview on Wednesday and got a call about a job interview for a position at a community mental health center. I went back home on Thursday for a long-planned weekend at home with my parents and best friend. On Friday, my grandmother passed away. On top of that, there was a particularly terrifying health scare with one of my loved ones, which turned out to not be as scary as it could have been.

For a bipolar person, I’m used to my moods going up and down fairly rapidly. However, this was such a rollercoaster of a week. Coming off a week filled with anxiety attacks and depression, September has not been my month. As I was sitting at the Ben Folds Five concert Friday night with my best friend who has also had a pretty shit-tastic month, lots of random thoughts just kept popping into my head. I could try to verbalize them, but it would probably come out pretty angsty and woeful. Instead, I’m just going to post the random lyrics that kept popping out at me. And hey, if it by any chance inspires anyone to listen to Ben Folds Five, so be it.

Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark
There’s an awkward young shadow who waits in the hall
Yeah, he’s cleared all his things and he’s put them in boxes
Things that remind him that life has been good”
There was no party, and there were no songs
‘Cause today’s just a day like the day that he started
And no one is left here who knows his first name
And life barrels on like a runaway train
Where the passengers change, but they don’t change anything
You get off someone else can get on”
 Fred Jones, Part 2

So you wanted
To take a break
Slow it down some and
Have some space
Well, fuck you too”
Song for the Dumped

Erase me, what the fuck is this?
You’re crazy
Turn around in 2 weeks time
Replaced me
Ah, the memory, everybody knows how it goes
You just erase me
Do me like a bro and taze me
Fireworks poof, it’s gone, amazing”
Erase Me

Well, I thought about the army
Dad said, son, you’re fucking high”
“Been thinking a lot today
Been thinking a lot to today
Oh, I think I’ll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I’ll take it to LA
Oh, I think I’ll get it done yesterday
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God please spare me more rejection
‘Cause my peers, they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels”

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it’s bye-bye, goodbye I tried
Treading a sea of a troubled mind
Had to leave myself behind
Singing bye-bye, goodbye I tried
If you wrote me off, I’d understand it
Because I’ve been on some other planet
So come pick me up
I’ve landed”
– Landed

You might put your love and trust on the line
It’s risky, people love to tear that down
Let ’em try
Do it anyway
Risk it anyway
And if you’re paralyzed by a voice in your head
It’s the standing still that should be scaring you instead
Go on and
Do it anyway
Do it anyway
Despite your grand attempts the chips are set to fall
And all the stories you might weave cannot negotiate them all
Do it anyway
Be honest, anyway
So tell me what I said I’d never do
Tell me what I said I’d never say
Read me off a list of the things I used to not like but now I think are okay
Call it surrender but you know that that’s a joke
And the punchline is you were never actually in control
But still, surrender anyway”
Do It Anyway

With that, I’m saying goodbye to the horrid month of September. Enough with the depression and anxiety I had basically all month. There are only 2 1/2 hours left of this awfulness. As Green Day says, “Wake me up when September ends.”


New series: The Mindy Project

I love The Office. While Kelly Kapoor was never my favorite character, I liked her simply for the fact that she was played by Mindy Kaling. For those unfamiliar with the incredibly talented Indian-American comedienne, get familiar with her. She has already become incredibly popular for her portrayal of Kelly Kapoor as well as her time writing for The Office. With The Mindy Project, she is about to become a household name.

In TMP, Kaling plays Mindy Lahiri, an OB/GYN who would love nothing more than to make her life a stereotypical romantic comedy. However, like most romantic comedy heroines, she is quirky and very unlucky in love. The pilot opens with her giving a toast at her ex-boyfriend’s wedding. Naturally, she is a tad bit tipsy and mainly just ends up humiliating herself. She runs out of the wedding, grabs a bottle of champagne, steals a bike, and proceeds to ride home intoxicated. She falls into a pool and ends up getting arrested.

The next day, she vows to her friend Gwen (Anna Camp, Pitch Perfect) that she is not going to keep being desperate and pathetic. Since this is a sitcom, we all know that plan will not come to fruition. I, for one, am incredibly thankful for that.

A large part of the pilot takes place at the hospital where Mindy works. Her coworkers are Danny Castellano (Chris Messina, The Newsroom), the asshole we’re supposed to believe truly has a heart of gold, and Jeremy Reed (Ed Weeks, new to American television), the British bad boy doctor with whom Mindy keeps having casual hook-ups. Mindy’s boss is portrayed by the hilarious Stephen Tobolowsky, who is famous for playing the creepy former teacher Sandy Ryerson on Glee, among many other roles.

In coming weeks, we probably have more workplace antics and disastrous dates to which we can look forward. I’m not particularly fond of the references to Mindy as being “chubby,” when she looks absolutely amazing, but the rest of the show is just so damn good. The characters have a lot of heart and Kaling is just inherently likable. The dialogue is quick and witty. You don’t have to like romantic comedies to enjoy this show, but pretty much everyone who does like them will love it. With guest stars like Ed Helms and other folks from The Office sure to make appearances, this is the perfect fit with the hit New Girl and will surely become appointment television.

Film Review: Pitch Perfect

After a particularly atrocious week (seriously, it could go down in history as the shittiest week ever), my best friend and I set out to see Perks of Being a Wallflower. Unfortunately, we live in the middle of the country, so very few limited releases actually get to us on opening weekend. I maintain that it’s horribly cruel of them to advertise it so heavily and then not release it anywhere near me. So, we decided to go see Pitch Perfect instead.

The plot is fairly straight forward: Beca (Anna Kendrick) is a college freshman who has absolutely no interest in college. All she wants to do is move to Los Angeles and become a record producer. However, her dad (John Benjamin Hickey) is a professor at Barden University and decides that she must get a college education first. Since she can go to Barden for free, that’s just what she’ll do. Beca enjoys DJing and making various mixes of different songs. She gets a job at the college radio station, but since she’s a freshman, it mainly consists of reshelving CDs and records. After a couple months of school, Beca’s dad makes a deal with her. If she will put herself out there and join just one club (he doesn’t count the radio station), he will help her move to Los Angeles the next year if she still wants to.

A cappella culture is very serious at Barden. There are four groups. One sings a lot of show tunes and Madonna. One is the High Notes (emphasis on the “high” part of their name). That leaves the Treble Makers (the all-boys group that are mainly total assholes) and the Barden Bellas. One of the Bellas, Chloe (Brittany Snow), hears Beca singing in the shower and barges in to the stall demanding that she audition. Beca decides she will give it a shot and, of course, ends up joining the Bellas.

The Bellas are known for being the most beautiful girls on campus. However, after a particularly horrendous projectile vomiting incident during Nationals the previous year, no one really wants to be a member. Chloe and the Bellas’ leader Aubrey (Anna Camp) lower their beauty standards and decide they’ll just take the eight best people who fit their needs. That opens them up to the ragtag group of individuals who make it as Bellas. There’s Fat Amy (the hilarious Rebel Wilson), who is a bigger girl that refers to herself as “fat” so that “twig bitches” can’t do it behind her back. Stacie (Alexis Knapp), who is a tad bit promiscuous and refers to her vagina as a “hunter.” Cynthia Rose (Ester Dean), a sassy Black lesbian. The true standout, though, is Lilly (Hana Mae Lee) whose voice is so quiet that a whisper would be too loud of a description. The few lines that she does have, though, make some of the funniest parts of the film.

Of course, no movie like this would be complete without some sort of romance. The leading man in this film is Jesse (Skylar Astin), a Treble Maker who has a huge crush on Beca. They work together at the radio station and he is determined to win her over. Jesse is ridiculously charming and pretty much adorable. He comes across as one of the nicest guys ever and a total catch.

The plot is not particularly earth shattering. Pretty much everyone could tell what will happen from the trailers alone. That said, Kendrick is just so damn endearing that her character is hard to dislike. She has great chemistry with Astin, as well as the other Bellas. The music is a lot of fun, but then again, I truly adore a cappella music. The supporting cast is full of fantastic comedic actors, including particularly hysterical roles by John Michael Higgins and Elizabeth Banks as commentators for the competitions. This film is not going to win awards, unless they’re shaped like surfboards or popcorn buckets. However, it’s an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours. If you just want something light and fluffy, this is the film to see.

New Series: Ben and Kate

Fox’s Ben & Kate is being billed as one of the best new sitcoms of the season. Based on creator Dana Fox’s real life relationship with her brother, critics are hailing the show as a quirky comedy about two dysfunctional siblings. In the show’s first outing, it largely lived up to the hype.

Dakota Johnson (The Five-Year Engagement) stars as Kate Fox, waitress and single mother to five-year-old Maddie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones, We Bought a Zoo). Every now and then, Kate’s brother Ben (Nat Faxon, The Descendants) blows into town and causes a bunch of trouble. He’s basically a giant manchild. Of course, as with most manchildren, they make for some really entertaining moments. This time, he comes back into town to break up the marriage of his ex-girlfriend who he still thinks of as Mrs. Ben Fox. Naturally, as she is an ex-girlfriend, this woman has moved on and Ben’s plans do not come to fruition.

While Ben is trying to break up this woman’s wedding, Kate is just trying to get laid. She has gone on approximately ten dates with a man named George (Jon Foster, Accidentally on Purpose). After ten dates, that means she finally gets to have sex, as per her rules. She accidentally dials Ben while on her date and after excusing herself to the restroom, Ben overhears a conversation between George and another woman. On his way to the wedding, he comes back to save his sister from getting her heart broken again.

The two siblings end up going to the wedding to try to stop it, but they are an hour late and Mrs. Ben Fox is now Mrs. Somebody Else. For some reason, they stay for the reception, but it leads to a really sweet moment between Ben and Kate where they hang out under a table, just like they did when they were younger and their parents would fight. This time, Maddie joins them and it’s adorable, naturally.

Echo Kellum (Hot in Cleveland) also stars as Tommy, one of Kate’s co-workers who is hopelessly in love with her. The fantastically hilarious comedienne Lucy Punch (Bad Teacher) plays BJ, a fellow waitress who just wants Kate to have some fun in her life. The ensemble cast is pretty much amazing. The chemistry between everyone is phenomenal. Even in the pilot, the actors and writers are nearing the perfect balance of endearing and hilarious. Jones is the perfect adorable child in this role. Ben and Kate have emotional baggage that makes them much more relatable. Faxon manages to be extremely endearing without going over the top, which would be very easy to do in this role.

Since Dana Fox is drawing on her own life experiences for this show and she has a ton of heart, I predict many more heartwarming and funny episodes from here on out. I always say a show needs five episodes before you can truly judge if it will succeed or fail. If the next four episodes are as strong as this pilot, this has potential to be the best new sitcom of the season (possibly tied with The Mindy Project).

Coming tomorrow: a belated review of The Mindy Project.

New Series: Partners

From the producers of Will & Grace, Good Morning Miami and Shit My Dad Says comes a new sitcom. Let’s just hope it’s more like Will & Grace and less like Shit My Dad Says, for the sake of us all.

Here’s the basic premise: Joe (David Krumholtz) and Louis (Michael Urie) are besties for the resties. They’ve been friends since childhood and have developed an incredibly close friendship. Some might envy them for their closeness. Some might find them certifiable and weirdly co-dependent. They’re best friends and co-own an architecture firm. Joe is straight and dating a jeweler named Ali (Sophia Bush). Louis is gay and is dating a Jewish doctor (who is actually a Presbyterian nurse, but Louis swears he’ll get promoted) named Wyatt (Brandon Routh). Joe is the level-headed one of him and Louis, while Louis is the wacky guy and source of most of their hijinx.

Joe has been dating Ali for a while. He is apparently a total commitment-phobe and Ali gave him a “play me or trade me” ultimatum. Louis is apparently a stereotypical gay person who does not understand any of this fancy sports speak. Okay, I’m clueless when it comes to nearly anything to do with sports and even I can figure out what that means. Translation: She wants to get married. Joe doesn’t think he’s ready to get married. Louis tells him to “go with his gut,” after telling him to ignore his head and his “schmekel.” He decides that he’s going to break up with her. However, when he gets there to actually end the relationship, she tells him that she doesn’t want him to do anything he doesn’t want to. At that moment, he decides his gut is telling him to propose, so that’s what he does.

On to the next morning, Louis is still under the impression that Joe and Ali broke up. At their yoga class, Louis tells Ali that Joe was going to break up with her. Cue the wacky hijinx. Joe gets mad and “breaks up” with Louis. Louis goes to talk to Ali. Joe talks to Wyatt. Everyone kisses and makes up because this is a sitcom and it’s only the first episode.

Look, this isn’t the most original concept. Even though buddy comedies have been done like this in a million different ways, each one has the potential to be unique and memorable. It had its bright spots, though. There’s no denying that Krumholtz and Urie have great chemistry. Both of them have fantastic comedic timing. Routh is great at playing the straight man to Urie’s craziness. In my opinion, the weak spot is Sophia Bush. Granted she has been on One Tree Hill for the past decade and anyone could forget how to act after being on that show. Several of her line deliveries were extremely stilted and she really can’t hold a candle to Urie.

The writing is really snappy and has terrific potential. The biggest thing the writers and actors need to do is take the energy down one or two notches. After 30 minutes, I was exhausted. It reminds me a lot of New Girl’s first few episodes last year. The writers turned Zooey Deschanel’s adorkable manic pixie dream girl-ness up to about fifteen. A few episodes later, Deschanel was much calmer and the show got a lot better. As fantastic as Urie is, he needs to tone it down. A lot of that will come as the writers and actors get more comfortable with the characters. The show will find its groove and I think it has potential to be a big hit. I’m certainly going to be tuning in every week.

Emmy liveblog

10:00 And so ends one of the most painfully boring Emmy telecasts in recent history. I’ll be back with another liveblog for the Golden Globes. In the meantime, I have a lot of plans for this blog in the upcoming weeks. Check back for more reviews and television rants.

9:55 Jimmy Kimmel introduces Michael J. Fox as “someone nobody likes” and “everybody’s least favorite person.” He proceeds to get a standing ovation. So much love for him. Fox presents Best Comedy Series to Modern Family, capping off the most boring and predictable Emmys in recent history. Bring on the ridiculously scripted acceptance speech we’ve come to expect every year. But it seems like we’re not getting that this year. Steven Levitan gives a heartfelt speech about how amazing it is to work on Modern Family. They start to play him off after about 30 seconds. Dudes, you’re 2 minutes ahead. They literally just turned the lights off on them.

9:54 They’re running a Modern Family commercial right now that basically assumes they’ve already won Best Comedy Series. They’re probably right.

9:51 Brief interruption. In the time I was gone, Game Change won Best Miniseries or Movie and Homeland won Best Drama. I basically could have written that sentence three hours ago and counted on the fact that the Emmys are just that predictable.

9:37 Goodwin and VanCamp stick around for Best Actor in a Miniseries. They’re clearly running short on time because VanCamp is talking in hyperspeed right now. The Emmy goes to Kevin Costner for Hatfields & McCoys.

9:35 Back from commercial, Kimmel points out that Jon Stewart was not in his seat and threw out his award during the commercial. Out come Ginnifer Goodwin and Emily VanCamp (a.k.a. two of my fave actresses on TV right now) to present Best Directing in a Miniseries to Jay Roach for Game Change. Roach thanks HBO for actually being willing to make films about politics.

9:28 Liu and Sutherland stick around for Best Actress in a Miniseries. Julianne Moore wins for Game Change for playing Sarah Palin. Connie Britton is robbed yet again. Moore says she feels validated because Sarah Palin “gave her a big thumbs down.” Don’t get me wrong. I love Julianne Moore, but I want Connie Britton to win all the awards.

9:25 Lucy Liu and Kiefer Sutherland present Best Writing for a Miniseries to Danny Strong (OMIGOD, IT’S DOYLE FROM GILMORE GIRLS!!!!!!!!!) for Game Change. John boos and hisses the fact that Steven Moffatt doesn’t win for Sherlock (even though John is just rooting for him because of the Doctor Who connection).

9:16 Ron Howard comes out to talk about how awesome Andy Griffith was. Now begins the real In Memoriam segment that isn’t mildly disrespectful to the people who passed away this year. I’m looking at you, Kimmel.We lost a lot of good people this year, which we’re reminded of while someone sings “Memories.” Saddest segment ever.

9:13 Kerry Washington comes out in a super sparkly dress to present Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie. Tom Berenger wins for Hatfields & McCoys. I was super confused because I got him and Tom Bergeron confused. They are apparently two very different people. I understand now. He says he wishes the Academy had melted the trophy down into 10 or 11 smaller statues that he could dole out to his co-stars. He then goes on to name way more than 10 or 11 co-stars. They start to slowly play him off and then start the music up even more to get rid of him.

9:12 The Chairman of the Academy comes out with Ellen DeGeneres (who still has no pants after giving them to Jimmy at the beginning of the show). Apparently, the Television Academy does a whole bunch of different stuff other than just rewarding the wrong people every year.

9:05 Steve Buscemi comes out to present Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries. It’s going to go to Jessica Lange for American Horror Story. She does predictably win, but she’s beyond amazing, so I’m cool with this win. She’s super gracious and I kind of adore her.

9:04 On to the Miniseries categories. I don’t know why they think people are going to stick around for these categories.

9:01 Jimmy Kimmel introduces his parents. He says they always told him he could do anything they set his mind to. He set his mind to winning the Emmy this year and he didn’t. Kimmel asks Security to escort them out for lying to him and says they can feel free to tase them. Oh, Kimmel. Why do people think you’re funny?

8:53 Gervais sticks around to present Best Variety Series, a.k.a. the one that The Daily Show wins every year. The Emmys are nothing if not consistent. The Daily Show wins for the 10th consecutive year. Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert literally pull him back and by the time Jon Stewart gets to the stage, he is ridiculously out of breath. It’s freaking hilarious. Probably funnier than this entire show. Jon Stewart says that when the aliens come to visit and see the box full of Emmys, they’ll know just how fucking predictable these things are. Oh Jon Stewart. Why aren’t you hosting tonight?

8:50 Ricky Gervais comes out with his “disdain for you and everything you stand for.” Oh, why can’t Ricky Gervais be hosting tonight? He is here to give out Best Directing for a Variety Special. As he says, there isn’t even a clip special for these people. Two of them are working tonight. Apparently, something strange just happened. Glenn Weiss wins for directing the Tonys. He’s directing the show tonight, so he’s back in the control room. They had the Emmy there and ready to go for him.

8:46 They show a quick preview of the people who died this year. My wonderful fiance mistook Michael Clarke Duncan for Mike Tyson. I had to explain that Mike Tyson has a giant face tattoo and is still very much alive.

8:42 Aziz Ansari and Jane Levy come out to present Best Writing for a Variety Show. There hasn’t been a presenter yet that I wouldn’t rather see as Emmy host. Aziz Ansari pretends to be British, in order to get people to take his acting more seriously. They both pretend to be British while introducing the nominees. This entire show would be better if everyone were British. The Emmy goes to Louis C.K. Love him, so it’s alright. He threepeats for the night. Nice one.

8:40 On to the Variety category, a.k.a. where The Daily Show rightfully wins all the awards.

8:38 Claire Danes just sent out a holla to Mandy Patinkin and thanked her husband/baby daddy. Did someone dare her to try to be gangsta? Really?

8:36 Kimmel asks if anyone would like to trade an Emmy for a Hot Pocket. I’d like to trade an Emmy host for the upcoming presenters (Jon Hamm and Tina Fey). Tina Fey is pretending like she can’t read the teleprompter. Why can’t she host? Best Lead Actress in a Drama Series goes to Claire Danes, shocking no one. Most boring Emmys ever.

8:31 Can I just say that my Twitter feed is far more entertaining than this entire telecast has been?

8:27 Julianna Margulies comes out to present Best Actor in a Drama. If Jon Hamm doesn’t win, I officially give up. What a shock. Damian Lewis wins for Homeland. Bring on the Homeland sweep. I’m so glad I picked up wine at the grocery store. At least Lewis has a gorgeous British accent. This makes his win so much better.

8:25 Kimmel comes out to present the In Memoriam category. He says it’s a shame they wait until the person is dead, so he wants to honor someone who hasn’t died yet. Josh Groban sings What Makes You Beautiful over a montage of videos of Jimmy Kimmel. Ugh.

8:22 A group of guys drag Tracy Morgan offstage. Out comes Giancarlo Esposito to tell us who won Best Guest Actor & Actress in a Drama Series. It was Jeremy Davies and Martha Plimpton. I’m so confused by Jeremy Davies’ hair. They ask all the Best Director nominees if they’re dramatic. The guy from Boardwalk Empire wins. He’s not even there.

8:18 The announcer reminds us yet again that Jon Hamm has never won an Emmy. I’m crying enough already for these winners tonight, y’all. Don’t make it worse.

8:17 Britton and Panetierre stick around for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama. If there was any justice, it would be Christina Hendricks, but they give it to Dame Maggie Smith. I’m okay with McGonagall winning.

8:14 Connie Britton and Hayden Panetierre come out to present Best Writing. They ask all the nominees how they deal with writer’s block. It’s not that funny. Homeland wins, no matter how hard I wished it would be Andre and Maria Jacquemetton for the penultimate episode of Mad Men this year.

8:12 Kimmel asks if everyone is doing alright and says he wants help pulling off a prank on everyone. Sorry, Kimmel. I’m not inclined to help you in any way whatsoever. This is the stupidest waste of time yet. Tracy Morgan is apparently going to just lie on the stage for a while. We were all supposed to tweet that Tracy Morgan just passed out on stage. No.

8:04 Jimmy Kimmel introduces Claire Danes by saying she “has a baby in her.” Ugh, Kimmel. Just go away already. Danes comes out to introduce Supporting Actor in a Drama Series. Aaron Paul wins for Breaking Bad. Look, I loved him when he was on Big Love, but Jared Harris was so freaking fantastic this past year.

8:02 Apparently, they’re going to Drama next. The Miniseries categories aren’t strong enough to keep people around for that last hour. I need to produce this show next year, clearly.

7:58 Seth MacFarlane is here to award Best Reality Show Host. He starts the presentation on the wrong side of the stage. Love those awkward moments. He names off some of the less famous hosts (insert obligatory Brian Dunkleman reference here). Oh lord. Betty White’s in this category? It better go to her, but Tom Bergeron wins for Dancing with the Stars. He says it’s particularly satisfying since Betty White always kicks his ass in their mixed martial arts class. Okay, that was kind of funny.

7:56 Sketch with The Big Bang Theory about how Sheldon fanboys over the accountants who count up the votes. That was the most awesome way to do that segment. Loved it.

7:50 James Van der Beek and Damon Wayans, Jr. come out looking super awesome. They say they’re going to just get straight to the information reality fans care about and they read off the score of the Patriots/Ravens game. Meh. Funny-ish. The Amazing Race wins for Best Reality Show. Again.

7:49 And the show moves on to the reality segment. At least I don’t care about any of these shows.

7:44 Jimmy Kimmel introduces Stephen Colbert to remind us all that he’s funnier that Jimmy Kimmel. Colbert starts talking about the War on Women and says that all women are wonderful (for the most part, except for those that are awful). He says that 5 of the 7 women are just great and the other two are… Julia Louis-Dreyfuss wins for Veep. Amy Poehler rushes up to hug her. This makes me sad because Amy Poehler should have freaking won. JLD starts reading off an acceptance speech that was clearly written for Amy Poehler. I hope I live to see the day that Amy Poehler wins a freaking Emmy already.

7:37 Mindy Kaling and Melissa McCarthy come out to present Lead Actor in a Comedy, reminding us all that there are incredibly funny women out there. Jon Cryer wins for Two and a Half Men. Okay. What the actual fuck, Emmy voters? Jon Cryer voices what we all were thinking when he says that something has clearly gone terribly wrong. I don’t even know why your show is still on, Cryer. As my friend Alyssa said, it was probably a gift for putting up with Charlie Sheen all those years.

7:35 Now for a montage with Aubrey (the little girl playing Lilly on Modern Family) wreaking havoc on the Modern Family set. Apparently, Ken Jeong is going to replace Lilly. Can this girl host next year? And the entire thing was just ruined by Kimmel coming back. Ugh.

7:34 Steve Levitan comes up and says it’s shocking that he won. It really isn’t. He apparently hasn’t paid attention to the Emmys over the past three years. Best line: “With the cast and crew that I have, a complete idiot could direct a great episode.”

7:30 Out walks Matthew Perry to announce the winners for Guest Actor & Actress in a Comedy. In case you missed it the first time around, Kathy Bates and Jimmy Fallon won for Two and a Half Men and SNL, respectively. Now Bates and Fallon are here to award Best Comedy Directing to Steve Levitan for Modern Family. First, they have to ask the nominees what makes a great comedy director. The overwhelming answer is Jews. Funny?

7:22 Jon Cryer and Kat Dennings come out to do the next presentation for Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Dennings is rocking that dress. I can’t stop staring at how fantastic her boobs are. The Emmy goes to Julie Bowen. Apparently, the Emmys are going to be playing it super safe again this year. Boring. Her speech is very focused on nipple covers, weirdly.

7:21 Twenty minutes in and I already want Kimmel to go away. Short skit with Breaking Bad as an Andy Griffith-style show. They just shot Barney Fife. Wow…

7:18 Jimmy Kimmel is back and introduces Jim Parsons and Zooey Deschanel as very white people. But still funnier than you, Jimmy. They joke about how Zooey bases her character on the real-life Jim and Jim bases Sheldon on the real-life Zooey, one of Hollywood’s few theoretical physicist hobbyists. Montage of the Best Writing nominees talking about how their childhood teachers would describe them. Louis C.K. ultimately wins. He’s kind of adorbs, so I’m cool with that.

7:11 Amy Poehler and Louis CK come out to remind everyone they’re funnier than you. Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series goes to Eric Stonestreet. Sad day. Should have gone to Max Greenfield. Really heartfelt acceptance speech that highlights how much he loves Jesse Tyler Ferguson as an on-screen partner. So sweet.

7:09 This montage of Comedy moments is just reminding me of all the stuff that didn’t get nominated that should have. Community, Happy Endings, Glee, sad days.

7:04 Jimmy Kimmel starts his monologue. First Honey Boo Boo reference of the night. Downton Abbey is apparently what it was like to grow up in Mitt Romney’s household. Obligatory picking people out of the audience and making jokes about them. Joke about how Jon Hamm has never won for playing Don Draper and probably won’t win tonight. Overall, not a strong monologue.

7:00 Mindy Kaling, Connie Britton, Martha Plimpton, Kathy Bates, Zooey Deschanel and Christina Hendricks are all in the bathroom getting ready for the show. They hear someone crying hysterically. and walk in on Lena Dunham naked and eating cake. Jimmy Kimmel had a terrible Botox job and some  reality show hosts offer to take over for him. A whole bunch of people offer to punch Jimmy Kimmel. I don’t really care for the completely unnecessary violence. Ellen shows up to remind us all who we would rather see host.

Emmy predictions

Tonight is, of course, one of television’s biggest nights. That’s right. It’s time for the Emmys! Tonight’s show, hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, will likely be predictable and filled with television fans raging at the choices. Most of us already raged when the nominations came out and we saw which of our favorite shows got snubbed yet again. I’ll watch with quiet resentment as I think about what shows should be among the nominees.

In the meantime, I’ll try to figure out just what the Emmy voters will be thinking and predict the winners.

Best Comedy Series:
The Big Bang Theory
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Modern Family
30 Rock
Will win: Modern Family is always a safe choice in this category as it tends to win every year. However, I’m sensing an upset this year. Girls would be the super edgy pick, as there is tons of buzz around it. I think Veep is going to sneak in and pull off a win this year.
Should win: Parks and Recreation. Of the Thursday night NBC comedies from last year, Parks and Rec had the strongest season by far. 30 Rock should not even be nominated. It had an incredibly weak season. 30 Rock’s spot should be filled by Parks and Rec, and they should be walking away with the trophy.

Comedy Actor:
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Don Cheadle (House of Lies)
Louis C.K. (Louie)
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men)
Will Win: This is potentially the most unimaginative group of nominees. Alec Baldwin, Larry David, and Jon Cryer can pretty much sit there and read the phone book and the Academy will nominate them for Lead Actor. I’m thinking Jim Parsons will threepeat and take home the trophy again this year.
Should Win: Of these nominees, I’d probably pick Parsons. He is fantastic as Sheldon. A lot of people will argue that Louis C.K. should win. I don’t watch Louie, so I can’t definitively say one way or the other. My pick would be Joel McHale from Community, though.

Comedy Actress:
Lena Dunham (Girls)
Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly)
Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Veep)
Will win: If the Academy is leaning toward Girls tonight in the Comedy categories, it’ll be Lena Dunham. If they’re leaning toward Veep, it’ll be Louis-Dreyfuss. Last year, Melissa McCarthy inexplicably won for Mike & Molly. Let’s be honest. She really won for her amazing role in Bridesmaids. I’m sensing it’ll be a win for Dunham.
Should win: Amy Poehler. Leslie Knope is amazing. Parks and Rec is amazing. If there is justice in the world, Poehler will sneak off with a win.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy:
Ed O’Neill (Modern Family)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family)
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
Max Greenfield (New Girl)
Bill Hader (SNL)
Will win: It’ll likely to go to one of the Modern Family guys again this year. I’m thinking Burrell will repeat from last year.
Should win: Max Greenfield. He is absolutely hilarious as Schmidt on New Girl and I’ve loved him since he was Deputy Leo on Veronica Mars.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy:
Mayim Bialik (The Big Bang Theory)
Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives)
Julie Bowen (Modern Family)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Merritt Wever (Nurse Jackie)
Kristen Wiig (SNL)
Will win: If the Academy is playing it safe again this year, it’ll go to Bowen. If they’re feeling sentimental, it could go to the deceased Joosten or the no-longer-with-SNL Wiig. I’m feeling a posthumous win for Joosten.
Should win: Mayim Bialik. She has been an absolutely wonderful addition to The Big Bang Theory and her portrayal of Amy Farrah-Fowler is freaking hilarious.

Drama Series:
Boardwalk Empire
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Mad Men
Will Win: Mad Men. It wins every freaking year. Homeland could pull off a surprise win, but I’m feeling Mad Men here.
Should Win: The only one of these that I actually watch is Mad Men and I really do freaking love it.

Drama Actress:
Glenn Close (Damages)
Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey)
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
Kathy Bates (Harry’s Law)
Claire Danes (Homeland)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)
Will Win: It’s probably going to Julianna Margulies again. This category has become hers to lose. Though if the attitude is switching towards Homeland, Danes will walk away with the win.
Should Win: Elisabeth Moss. She is amazing as Peggy and I adore her.

Drama Actor:
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Hugh Bonneville (Downton Abbey)
Damian Lewis (Homeland)
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Will Win: It would be fantastic if this were going to be Jon Hamm’s year to finally walk away with the trophy. I’m thinking it will probably go to Cranston again, though.
Should Win: Jon Hamm. He’s never won for his portrayal of Don Draper and that is just a crime.

Supporting Actress in a Drama:
Anna Gunn (Breaking Bad)
Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey)
Joanne Froggatt (Downton Abbey)
Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)
Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
Will Win: I’m going to guess Archie Panjabi. She’s probably the safest bet and I don’t sense them feeling imaginative in this category.
Should Win: Christina Hendricks. She is beyond amazing in Mad Men and needs to be rewarded for it.

Supporting Drama Actor:
Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)
Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad)
Brendan Coyle (Downton Abbey)
Jim Carter (Downton Abbey)
Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
Jared Harris (Mad Men)
Will Win: I think Peter Dinklage will likely win in this category again this year.
Should Win: Jared Harris. His portrayal of Lane was absolutely heartbreaking this year. If there is justice in the world, the trophy will go to him.

Miniseries or Movie:
American Horror Story
Game Change
Hatfields & McCoys
Hemingway & Gellhorn
Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia
Will Win: Once again, it depends how imaginative the Academy is feeling. The safe bet would be either Game Change or Hatfields & McCoys. American Horror Story could sneak out a win. I’m imagining it’ll be Game Change.
Should Win: American Horror Story. It was freaking insane and wonderful.

Miniseries Actress:
Connie Britton (American Horror Story)
Julianne Moore (Game Change)
Nicole Kidman (Hemingway & Gellhorn)
Ashley Judd (Missing)
Emma Thompson (The Song of Lunch)
Will Win: I’m guessing Julianne Moore will get it for playing Sarah Palin.
Should Win: Connie Britton. They have to make it up to her for not ever honoring her amazing work on Friday Night Lights.

Miniseries Actor:
Woody Harrelson (Game Change)
Kevin Costner (Hatfields & McCoys)
Bill Paxton (Hatfields & McCoys)
Clive Owen (Hemingway & Gellhorn)
Idris Elba (Luther)
Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock)
Will Win: I think Costner and Paxton will cancel each other out and Harrelson will walk away with it.
Should Win: I feel like I need to say Cumberbatch just to keep my fellow nerds happy. I’m not a Sherlock fangirl (yet), but it’s supposed to be amazing.

Supporting Actress in a Miniseries:
Frances Conroy (American Horror Story)
Jessica Lange (American Horror Story)
Sarah Paulson (Game Change)
Mare Winningham (Hatfields & McCoys)
Judy Davis (Page Eight)
Will Win & Should Win: There is a reason a good majority of the buzz surrounding American Horror Story is about Jessica Lange. She is freaking fantastic and deserves all the accolades she has been given.

Supporting Actor in a Miniseries:
Dennis O’Hare (American Horror Story)
Ed Harris (Game Change)
Tom Berenger (Hatfields & McCoys)
David Strathairn (Hemingway & Gellhorn)
Martin Freeman (Sherlock)
Will Win: It’ll probably go to Ed Harris for Game Change.
Should Win: O’Hare was really creepy in AHS, but he wasn’t necessarily my favorite. Having not seen the other performances, I’m not going to pick a Should Win for this category.

Variety Show:
It goes to The Daily Show every single year. And rightfully so.

I’ll be back at 7:00 to start my liveblog of this year’s Emmys, if anyone wants to join me. It should be a great time!