EW Description: “The original red-carpet critic and her panel, including Kelly Osbourne, hilariously rip into celebrity fashion with priceless segments like ‘Starlet or Streetwalker?’”
EW rarely steers me wrong, but dear lord, this show is atrocious. I was offended after about five minutes. I don’t even know where to start with this. Maybe because I watched the Halloween show and those are almost always cheesy, but I feel like this show is never anything other than trashy.
The show is hosted by iconic comedienne Joan Rivers. Her panel consists of E! News host Giuliana Rancic, Ozzy’s daughter Kelly Osbourne, and guy I’ve never heard of George [insert Greek name that I can’t spell]. They began their discussion by talking about some red carpet looks from the past week. Of course, it was just pointing out how awful the women looked. They made sure to point out who looked the trashiest and of course, “slut” and “bitch” was thrown around frequently.
Next, the show moved on to the always classy “Rack Report.” Here we got gems of discussions about how Lorenzo Lamas’ wife looked like she was hiding from her pimp because clearly, she is a prostitute for wearing a short skirt and low-cut shirt. They showed a picture of Christina Aguilera, who does look like she has had breast implants, but the discussion turned into how she has nothing to worry about because she’s “young, rich, famous, etc.” Naturally, the fact that she is now a single mother after what was likely a painful divorce is moot as long as she’s pretty.
After the commerical break, the panel had changed into their Halloween costumes (George as Justin Bieber, Giuliana as Rachel Zoe, and Kelly as Ice-T’s wife). They moved on to a segment in which a celebrity woman was shown from behind and the panelists had to figure out who it was, based solely on what her ass looked like. Of course, people do not typically think about what their ass looks like and they weren’t the most flattering pictures. The worst was when they showed a picture of Jennifer Lopez and talked about how she had (GASP!) cellulite. She’s a 41-year-old woman who gave birth to twins. Of course, she has fucking cellulite. Who cares? Heaven forbid a woman’s body actually show her life experience.
After another commercial break, Joan came out in her Snooki costume and they had the segment “Bitch Stole My Look.” When showing a picture of Taylor Momsen from Gossip Girl wearing a ton of black eyeliner, Joan stated “I didn’t know she started dating Chris Brown.” Who doesn’t love a good domestic violence joke? Oh right, everyone who actually understands that woman battering is not a laughing matter.
Then the real Snooki came out and there was ridiculous banter between Joan and Snooki about who wears the look better. They went through the best and worst looks of the week and it was all over.
After losing 30 minutes of my life and dozens of brain cells, I have to question what EW was thinking in recommending this to anyone.
I also want to note that not a single man was brought up in any of these segments. Apparently, fashion is an entirely female realm. The only time an older woman was shown was to judge her for what she was wearing or how old she looked. When Jessica Biel was shown wearing something that looked somewhat “older” looking, they commented on how old it made her look and how awful it looked. When Anna Kendrick was shown wearing a dress with a fairly deep V-cut in the front, Kelly made the comment about how she could pull it off if she had “bigger jugs.” So, thank you, E! for setting the feminist movement back several years and airing this piece of trash. I appreciate it.